Joe: Brain Fart
I’m tactless.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. My track record ain’t so great.
I think I’m dealing with lack of God in my life.
I don’t feel him/know him as well as I should.
I’ve spent 3 days trying to write this post, trying to figure out myself. And, I haven’t figured it out.
WHAT IS THIS POST EVEN TALKING ABOUT? ITS AS SCATTERED AS MY BRAINS.
Okay.
Focused.
Recently, God has told me to reevaluate my priorities. One guy was telling me about how he’s going through a dating fast and how girls used to be a huge priority for him and everything. God, in the end, was telling how he should eyes for only one woman. Getting in another relationship would break his future wife’s heart so he says. Very interesting. This guys a romantic btw. lol. He kind of reminds me of me. Doing things over the top and everything.
Anyway, that’s not me. Girls are not my top priority. At least, they aren’t over God.
I think that for myself, my identity is based a lot in the affections and the acceptance of others. It’s not that I need people to like me. It’s more like, if someone is Christian, I want them to like me, and I want them to say, yeah that guy is cool. We’re christian and we’re brothers. I guess I want that brotherhood.
I want it so much, that it’s affecting me dramatically. That brotherhood is present, I’m just being stupid. It’s there. But my selfishness and pride are causing me to doubt saying, Is a part of my salvation based on friendships and relationships with others, or is it based solely on you and the blood shed on the cross?
From then on, I degenerated into, do I even know you God? Do I even love you? How can I say I love you, if I don’t even come close to understanding how I can still be here with you?
God Is my salvation based on relationships?
Lily tells me it isn’t. She’s been an odd encouragement to me. She told me the fact that I;m still a Christian is a testament to the fact that I’m somewhere forward.
I don’t know. I don’t know exactly or remember exactly what she said, but I’m encouraged. ahaha. How pathetic is that.
Thank God for Lily.
On a totally different topic, I’ve been thinking about IV vs. Church.
Fellowship is enough. Church is fellowship. They are my brothers and sisters. Church on Sunday mornings is somewhere to hear an intellectual talk about one specific opinion about his interpretation of the Bible. Sometimes it’s very intellectual and compelling.
Why do we go to church in college?
